Daniel Thomas Gregory

31/07/91 - 16/02/07
Aged 15
Died from Ewings Sarcoma (Cancer)

Dan has 2 brothers & 1 sister
Lee 17....Shane 10...and Chloe..almost 5 wks when Dan died

Dan was treated at St James,Leeds




Daniel was born on 31st July 1991.He was my second son,the middle one of 3 boys.Dan was never really
ill and if he ever had a headache or anything he wouldnt take tablets,thats just how he was.Dan was
a normal 14 year old boy into his video games and making his warhammer pieces.In about march 2006 he
started to walk funny,as though he had some sort of limp,but when you asked him about it he said
that it didnt hurt and that it just did it.There was nothing visible on his leg so i just left
it,just put it down to him being a teenager.At the beginning of June he complained that it was
hurting and that his chest was also.Looking at his right leg,it was slightly larger from the knee to
his ankle than his left leg,so i took him to the doctors.It ended up being ewings sarcoma(a rare
bone cancer),one in his right leg and loads in his chest.By the time Dan went to meet his consultant
to discuss treatment Dan was ill,he was admitted to hospital where an xray revealed his right lung
was full of fluid,2 days later so was the left so a chest drain was fitted.Dan spent 3 months in
hospital,2 months of which he was dependant on oxygen,he ended up with 3 chest drains,numerous
visits to intensive care.quite a few times Dan came close to death,but each time too everyones
suprise he kept pulling through,he kept on fighting,even taking whatever medication was given to
him.In October Dan was able to come home at last and just had to go back to hospital for chemo.Dan
had lost the ability to walk after being so ill,so was now having to use a wheelchair.In December we
were told that Dan couldnt have the operation to remove his bone and tumor,that it would have to be
amputation,although they said theyd'd try radiotherapy to his leg incase there was a chance to save
it.Dan started his radiotherapy at the beginning of january.Also at the beginnig of January we found
out that the chemo wasnt working,Dans tumors were getting bigger and he had new ones also.On the
10th of January we found out that Dan had 2 large tumors at the back of his brain,and that he
couldnt be cured,but he could have some more chemo to give him longer.2 days later i went into
labour and gave birth to a little girl.Dan continued radiotherapy to his leg and had 2 more lots of
chemo,although the last chemo he had set him off having seizures.It was then decided that no more
treatment would be given to Dan,so i fetched him home.Dan finally lost his brave battle and died 2
weeks later on 16th February 2007.In the last couple of weeks of Dans life he went shopping a few
times,always buying things for other people.The day before Dan died his consultant came to see him
and when he asked Dan if there was anything he wanted to ask,all Dan asked for was if Ian could get
an apnea monitor for his baby sister as she had stopped breathing the night before and was in
hospital.Dan never once asked for anything for himself.One of the last things Dan said before he
died was that he wanted to send 1 of his milkshakes to Ian his consultant as a thankyou
present.(because of what was happening in Dans brain he had this thing about milkshakes) All through
Dans illness he never complained and always thought of other people instead of himself.He went to
the coast for the day and won lots of teddy bears..took them back to the ward and handed them out to
the nurses,another time it was key rings and he gave them out to other patients.Or he was handing
out his milkyways to the litlle ones on the kids ward.That was Dan all over,he always put other
people first even when he should have been concentrating on himself.Daniel died 7 months after
diagnosis.He was a very brave special boy,who i will miss terribly everyday for the rest of my life.

Love and miss you loads Dan xxxxxxxxxx

If love could have saved you
You would not have died
If tears could bring you back
you'd be by our side
....................................................................................................
.......
------♥♥------Pu t This
----♥♥-♥♥--- -On Your
---♥♥---♥♥-- -site If
---♥♥---♥♥-- -You Know
---♥♥---♥♥-- -Someone
----♥♥-♥♥--- -Who Died
-----♥♥♥------ Of
----♥♥-♥♥--- -cancer And
---♥♥---♥♥-- --You Love
--♥♥-----♥♥- --Very Much
....................................................................................................
......
Tribute written and read by Cameron (aged 12) at Dan's funeral

Hello my name is cameron,i first met daniel last june at Birmingham hospital,I was having my tumour
removed from my leg and Daniel was having his biopsy.
We first started talking through steve as the world cup was on.
a few weeks later we met up again at Jimmy's .As you know daniel was one of very few words,but we
would just stare at each other and read each others minds, as sharon would say we were both
telepathic, and steve nicknamed us both dumb and dumber.
Our main interest was yu-gi-oh cards, where we would spend many an hour and a lot of our Mums money,
buying and looking at them.
Me and Daniel both share the same birthday,and i will always remember him on that day.
Bye bye Daniel, I will never forget you.

....................................................................................................
......
Tribute written and read by Shona tutin at Dan's Funeral

I first met Dan last July on 10t at St James after he'd been diagnised,as you know,as having a
pretty terrible bone cancer.
the first time i saw him,he was laid in a side room,not speaking & could hardly make any eye
contact.
His mum said that it was because he was so shy & was quite the norm for him to sit in
silence...................
..........little did we know what we were letting ourselves into...
As you know Daniel could be very ungenerous with his smiles.I once had to sing & dance 3 verses of
Happy Birthday bbefore i got
so much as a smirk,but hey......i still remember it now....he had a fab smile.
By the end of treatment,Dan could hold court & could speak the hind legs off a donkey.He could even
give me a run for my money
& believe me that really really takes some doing.
everyone that I've spoken to about Daniel remembers him for his generosity.If he wasnt plying us
with biscuits he was feeding us
chocolate.He once fed Johnny (another patient) the entire contents of an advent calender.I truly
believe that had i not met dan then
I would resemble Kylie Minogue instead of the Vicar of Dibley.
He could account for EVERY penny he spent & boy.....could he spend.
In the latter weeks oh his life,Blue Bell Wood,who i now work for,offered to take Daniel out on some
day trips. We went to a few
places but he was always at his happiest when the words pound shop or car boot sale were mentioned.
I once offered to take him to the White Rose Centre in Leeds,he asked ,is it expensive? i said what
do you class as expensive?
& he replied, well anything over £4. So........reluctantly we ended up in a pound shop.....or
2...But D'ya know what...I actually
came out with some great bargains & spent more than Daniel. It was great.I'm now a pound shop addict
too.
You may have noticed that i have had my hair coloured.you may think its because I'm a jet setting
fashion queen, but the truth
is because of Daniel Gregory I've had to go into disguise.
On a couple of visits to the shops,Dan just happened to find a few items on his knee...that hadnt
been paid for,then actually blamed ME &
said that I'D pushed him out of the shop without taking him to the till.......so effectively I'd
shoplifted....not him.
I'm now scared to turn on the tv in case my face appears on crime watch......hence the disguise.
Seriously though,even when Daniel was out shopping,he spent most of his time asking for donations to
Bluebell Wood.
He always thought about other people.... He would spend most of his money....or Sharons money....on
everyone else.
He'd buy bucket loads & i mean bucket loads of KFC so that Sharon didnt have to cook.He'd buy gift
after gift for people,
but i must tell you that the thought he actually put into choosing the gifts was
incredible.Obviously now these gifts are things
that will be eternally treasured.
There is no doubt,Daniel really was given a raw deal. No person,let alone a child,should have to go
through what this young man did.
However,believe me,he did it with pride,dignity & maturity that was beyond his years.
I hope you're now running free & flying high Dan.
R.I.P fella
..................................................................................
Although i can't see you,
I know that you're there.
I hope you can feel,
Just how much i care.

My love for you is eternal,
And it always will be.
Why? Oh why were you taken from me.

Am i being punished,
For something that i did wrong?
Then it should have been me,
Not you my darling son.

I've been given a life sentance,
Of misery and pain.
that will only be over,
When I'm with you again.

I'l love you today,
Tomorrow...Forever,
And spend my nights dreaming,
Of when we're finally together.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
...........................................................
I miss you more than anything,
Every second of everyday,
My heart completely shattered,
The day you went away.

I wish you'd tell me that you're ok,
That's all i want to hear.
I want to have you near me,
I want to feel you near.

I just want to know that you're happy
And that life,it does go on.
I'll never stop worrying about you,
Cos thats my job as your Mum.

If you can find a way to tell me,
That's all you have to do.
Then i could cope a little easier,
Instead of always wondering about you.

Just a few little signs,
Thats all i need to see.
Things that only we'd know,
It would mean so much to me.

I'l leave you now to think it over,
and then hopefully one day,
You'll send me all those little signs,
And then i'll know that you're ok.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

author - Mum (Sharon)
.......................................................
Since my child died,
I feel as if my life has ended.
As my heart is so broken
and can never be mended.

You can't make me better,
NO I'm not gonna heal.
You haven't been where iam
So you don't know how i feel.

I hope you never have to feel
The way that i do.
I wouldn't wish on anyone
What I'm going through.

Stop asking how I'm feeling
Cos you don't want to know.
If i told you the truth
You'd get up and go.

I say that I'm ok
Cos its what you want to hear.
That's not how I'm feeling
It isn't anywhere near.

It makes you uncomfortable
When i mention his name.
You'd be quite happy
To never hear it again.

You make me so angry,
You make me so mad.
NO I'm not being miserable,
I'm just feeling so sad.

MY CHILD HAS DIED
Will you get it through your head
I spend my time now
Wishing i too were dead.

I wish someone could help me
To take away my pain,
But only my son can do that
When I'm holding him again.

If you're reading this
And you do understand.
Then you've lost your child too
To you I offer my hand.

My hand offers comfort
That you'll get from no other,
It can only be found
In another grieving mother.

Our children are special
We'll love them forever.
We'll help each other through
And we'll do it together.

Thier memory will live on
They will always be remembered
When we are all reunited
Our hearts will be mended.

Author- Mum (sharon)
............................................
Returning to work

Hello,I'm back,but merely a shell
Since i saw you last i've been through hell.
Now that i'm here please give me some space.
Don't talk behind my back but straight to my face.
Look into my eyes and see the terrible pain,
and remember one day you could feel the same.
Please be patient,i need plenty of time,
You see i'm still hurting and not at my prime.
My hands will shake,the tears will fall,
I really don't want to be here at all.
My heart is broken and i'm cold all through,
Please don't leave me,I need someone to talk to.

Don't be embarrased,don't shy away,
It will be easier when we get past today.
Don't give me a job where i'll be all alone,
I need to be with people,not a no-go zone.
I'm terribly angry,I want to scream and scream,
If only this were just a very bad dream.
I really can't cope,I'll never get through,
Please be kind and show me what to do.
Don't tell me,"Life goes on"'cause mine's at an end.
Just give me a hug and say you'll be my friend.
Don't box me in corners and cause me more stress,
And yes,you're right,I didn't iron my dress.

I don't care about how i look,it's enough that I'm here,
You needn't tell me I've lost weight,thats quite clear.
I don't need building up,I don't want a tonic pill,
Don't ask me "Are you better?" ,I haven't been ill.
I see no future,don't ask me to plan,
It's very hard knowing your son won't be a man.
Please be sincere,your kindness not hollow,
Then maybe i'll have the strength to come back tomorrow.

author - unknown
..............................................................................
Daniel
I remember the day that you were born
So tiny and so sweet
I'd waited a whole nine months
For us to finally meet
And there you were all 8lb 5
ten fingers and ten toes
With lovely skin ,chubby cheeks
And a cute little button nose.
The years went by
and you grew up
Getting older every year
And then came the doctors words
every parent dreads to hear.
I'm afraid your son has cancer
I'm sorry but its true
My world turned upside down that day
At the thought of losing you.
The tears they came
And you got sick
You struggled from the start
but you weren't giving up without a fight
And you fought with all your heart.
You fought with so much courage
You'd put grown men to shame
But it wasnt right
That at just fifteen
You had to suffer in so much pain.
Ithought you were getting better Dan
But then more bad news again
I'm afraid Daniel's now terminal
As the cancer has spread into his brain.
And that was it
all hope was gone
There was nothing more they could do
I had to face the facts
That i was definately gonna lose you.
I never told you,you were dying Dan
As you were only still fifteen,
How could i tell you,you'd never see
The things you had not yet seen.
I fetched you home
Where you belonged
Tried to make the most of everday
It isnt an easy thing to do
As i had to watch you slowly fade away.
In the end it proved too much
And your body grew so weak
The cancer finally took you
It took you in your sleep.
And when i saw you sleeping
With the look upon your face
I knew that you were now pain free
And were in a better place.
That doesn't make it any easier though
For me now that you're gone
I miss you so much everyday
But I'm so proud to be your Mum.
Love you forever matey! xxxxxx

Author- Mum (sharon)
...........................................................
No longer can i hold you
Or see your eyes so blue
I remember how your eyes looked
The last time that i saw you
Your eyes had died,as you had gone
Eternally to sleep.
I wish i could have saved you
And had you here to keep.

Author- Mum (sharon)
..............................................

Remebering

Go ahead and mention my child,
The one that died you know.
Don't worry about hurting me further
The depth of my pain doesn't show.
Don't worry about making me cry,
I'm crying already inside.
Help me to heal by releasing the tears that i try to hide.
Iam hurt when you just keep silent,
Pretending he didn't exist
I'd rather you mention my child,
Knowing that he has been missed.
You ask me how i was doing,
I say "pretty good" or "fine" .
But the healing is something ongoing
I feel it will take a lifetime.

author - unknown
....................................................................................
If Only

Life for us was always "ifs"
If's and buts and whens.
If this happens,we'll do that
But now it's only then.
On your death,the future ifs
Which promised so much joy
Changed to sad "If onlys"
and they can just destroy.
I must not live if only
So try my best to steer
The course you would have wanted
If only you were here
If i were granted one more day
To spend alone with you
I'd say the things I should have said
And do all i wanted to.

Author - unkonwn
...................................................................................
'NOT' feeling fine

you ask how I'm doing
I say that i'm fine
Its a stupid question to ask me
all of the time

How would you feel
if YOUR child had died
Would you stand there and smile
and say "Oh yes I'm fine"

You have no idea
Of what I feel inside
How could you know
YOUR child hasn't died

How can i be fine
I never will be
My child has died
been taken from me

You came to the funeral
and then you moved on
you dried your eyes
cos your tears had gone

my tears are forever
there here everyday
It isnt just something
that will ever go away

Its okay for you
to go out and have fun
I'm finding that hard
cos i'm missing my son

I dont laugh at your jokes
you call me a misery
well hey im sorry
Im not the person i used to be

I'm finding it hard
To just get out of bed
Waking each day
knowing that my child is dead

My lifes changed forever
I feel empty inside
Wouldnt you feel this way
If it was Your child that died?

No matter how long passes
However much time
The one thing i'l never be
Is feeling just fine.

Author- Mum (sharon)
......................................................................................
I remember it all too well
The day that my child died
I must have sat for hours
and cried and cried and cried

Don't think that i'm now over it
As you say "time will heal"
You don't know what you're on about
You haven't a clue how bad i feel.

Its not a broken bone
That heals itself with time
Its living you're worst nightmare
The nightmare now is mine

It doesnt stop,day or night
It always feels the same
no matter what i'm doing
I still feel the pain

If i had my life over
I know what i'd choose
I wouldnt wish on anyone
Even an hour in my shoes

I laugh i cry
the days go by
but it always feels the same
I will one day be over it....
.......When i see my child again

Author- Mum (sharon)
......................................................................................
I woke up this morning
.....and i missed you
I got out of bed
......and i missed you
I got myself washed
.....and i missed you
I got myself dressed
.....and i missed you
I came downstairs
.....and i missed you
I've only been awake a few minutes
And already I've missed you so much.
To those who've never lost a child,
Does that not make you understand?
Does that not make you see?
Just what my life is like now
How everyday is for me.

Author- Mum (sharon)

.......................................................................................

If i think of you as dead
And that you're forever gone
It makes me feel so sad inside
As though i can't carry on.
I like to think that you're still here,
Just somewhere else nearby,
Having lots of fun somewhere,
Or flying in the sky.
I wish i knew for certain
That you were ok
Maybe then it would be easier
To get through each day.
I never knew i could hurt so much
Until the day you went away,
I would have given me life, my soul
If it meant that you could stay.
It isnt fair that you were taken
you were much,much too young
You had your whole life ahead of you
My lovely precious son.
I think about you always
Every minute of everyday.
I wish i could turn back time
To when you were still here,
I'd tell you all i wanted to say
and hold you very near.
I know i have my memories
But are they what they seem
sometimes i wake from sleeping
and hope its all a bad dream.
To wake each day and find you gone
Gets harder every day
I wish that i could have you back
to take my pain away.
Until we meet again my Son
Always know how much i love you
and i'm so proud to be your Mum.
xxxxxxxx

Author- Mum (sharon)
................................................................................................
The Robbery

There's been a robbery!
Something's been stolen.
It's part of my spirit,part of my soul.
Nothing substantial,nothing to grasp,
It's part of my future,part of my past.

Something is missing,I feel so numb.
It's part of my reason for being a Mum.
Something was taken,it's torn me apart.
Something is gone,it's part of my heart.

Maybe in time I can accept this terrible crime.
Then at last i might find
Something substantial,something to grasp,
and look to the future
but remember the past.

Author - unknown
....................................................................................
They say there is no reason
they say that time will heal
But neither time or reason
Will change the way we feel

For no-one knows the heartache
That lies beyond our smiles
No-one know how many times
We have broken down and cried
we want to tell you something
So there wont be any doubt
You're so wonderfull to think of
But so hard to be without.

Author - Unknown
................................................................................
Remember the good times
Dont ever feel sad
Remember the pleasure
And love that i had

Remember the laughter
And all that we shared
Remember with pride
For i know that you cared

And blame yourselves not
For what i did not see
My life had everything
You gave much to me

With love in our hearts
The memories will stay
Remember I'm only
A whisper away............

Author - charles Miller


A Grieving Parents Wish List
1. I wish you would not be afraid to speak my child's name. They lived and were important and I need
to hear their name.

2. If I cry or get emotional if we talk about my child, I wish you knew that it isn't because you
have hurt me; the fact they have died has caused my tears. You have allowed me to cry and I thank
you.
Crying and emotional outbursts are healing.

3. I wish you wouldn't let my loved one die again by removing from your home her pictures, artwork,
or other remembrances.

4. I will have emotional highs and lows, ups and downs. I wish you wouldn't think that if I have a
good day my grief is over, or that if I have a bad day I need psychiatric counselling.

5. I wish you knew that the death of a child is different from other losses and must be viewed
separately. It is the ultimate tragedy and I with you wouldn't compare it to your loss of a parent,
spouse, or a pet.

6. Being a bereaved person is not contagious, so I wish you
wouldn't stay away from me.

7. I wish you knew all the crazy grief reactions that I am having are in fact very normal.
Depression, anger, frustration and hopelessness and the questioning of values and beliefs are to be
expected following a death.

8. I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be over in six months. The first few years are going to be
exceedingly traumatic for us, as with alcoholics, I will never be 'cured' or a 'formerly bereaved'
but forever be 'recovering' from my bereavement.

9. I wish you understood the physical reaction to grief. I may gain weight or lose weight, sleep all
the time or not at all, develop a lot of illness and be accident prone, all of which are related to
my grief.

10. Our child's birthday, the anniversary of her death, and the holidays are terrible times for us.
I wish you would tell us that you are thinking about them on these days and if we get quiet and
withdrawn, just know that we are thinking about them and don't try to coerce us into being
cheerful.

11. I wish you would't offer to take me out for a drink, or to a
party; this is just a temporary crutch and the only way I can get through this grief is to
experience it. I have hurt before and I can heal.

12. I wish you understood that grief changes people. I am not the same person I was before my child
died and I will never be that person again. If you keep waiting for me to get back to 'my old self'
you will stay frustrated. I am a new creature with new thoughts, dreams, aspirations, and values.
Please try to get to know the new me:

maybe you will still like me.